1 00:00:00,840 --> 00:00:04,849 Okay, here's the play. Bugsley, you distract your sister. Fester, you go along. 2 00:00:04,870 --> 00:00:07,089 What about Morticia's devastating blitz? 3 00:00:07,150 --> 00:00:09,019 She's no match for me. I'm on to her game. 4 00:00:10,339 --> 00:00:14,140 What do you think, girls? Same play as before? Why not? Works every time. 5 00:00:14,419 --> 00:00:18,070 Why are men so predictable? Because it makes it easier for us to control them. 6 00:00:19,030 --> 00:00:19,710 And break! 7 00:00:26,179 --> 00:00:30,300 You're not getting around me, Wednesday. Good. I prefer to go through you. 8 00:00:30,399 --> 00:00:33,659 You're not going to get past me this time, Kavita. No 9 00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:37,200 nonsense, darling. I always win. I'm open! 10 00:00:37,350 --> 00:00:37,810 I'm open! 11 00:00:54,219 --> 00:00:56,539 Now that's what I call a long... 12 00:01:09,359 --> 00:01:11,989 I think about it, and yeah, it makes sense. 13 00:01:25,540 --> 00:01:29,439 I never knew blacksmithing could be so much fun. The blazing heat, the sooty smoke. 14 00:01:43,829 --> 00:01:46,219 Is he accidentally getting hit on the head with a large hammer? 15 00:01:47,260 --> 00:01:53,859 It's the recipe for relaxation. 16 00:01:54,299 --> 00:01:57,000 What an exquisite scale model of the Eiffel Tower. 17 00:01:57,120 --> 00:01:58,959 It was supposed to be a giant squid. 18 00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:01,260 Sportacus Gomez, look! 19 00:02:03,980 --> 00:02:05,689 This one's still withdrawn and quarterly. 20 00:02:05,950 --> 00:02:08,569 America's top ten most electrifying bachelors. 21 00:02:10,069 --> 00:02:11,870 Bester, did you make the list again? 22 00:02:12,370 --> 00:02:14,569 Numero two and climbing. 23 00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:20,030 When I get to numero uno, the women will be beating down my door. 24 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:22,759 Sounds like they're early. 25 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:25,590 I got it! 26 00:02:27,349 --> 00:02:28,050 I got it! 27 00:02:28,090 --> 00:02:35,280 Hey, you're not a love-starved female admirer. No, and kindly remember that. 28 00:02:37,460 --> 00:02:40,039 Are you Festa Adams? Yes, I am. 29 00:02:40,710 --> 00:02:43,530 The second most electrifying bachelor in America. 30 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:45,340 Permit me to introduce myself. 31 00:02:46,810 --> 00:02:50,750 My name is Wilhelm von Trapp, and I am prime minister from the country of Caletonia. 32 00:02:51,349 --> 00:02:57,300 And I have a very unusual and dangerous proposition for you. Unusual and dangerous? 33 00:02:57,580 --> 00:03:00,750 Why, those are two of my favorite things. 34 00:03:05,689 --> 00:03:08,580 So, you see, it is vital that our monarch attend 35 00:03:08,580 --> 00:03:10,599 the peace conference and sign the treaty, 36 00:03:10,599 --> 00:03:14,300 or Calatonia is doomed. Where does my brother come into all of this? 37 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:18,659 This is King Lester. 38 00:03:20,539 --> 00:03:23,300 Good-looking guy. Hmm. 39 00:03:24,319 --> 00:03:25,639 The resemblance is remarkable. 40 00:03:26,259 --> 00:03:28,750 Fester, he could be your brother. No, he couldn't. 41 00:03:29,110 --> 00:03:31,129 I'm his brother, and this picture doesn't look anything like me. 42 00:03:31,909 --> 00:03:33,219 On the other hand, he could be my brother. 43 00:03:33,500 --> 00:03:37,460 My spies have informed me of a plot to assassinate His Majesty. 44 00:03:39,430 --> 00:03:41,520 He is planning to attend the ballet tonight with 45 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:44,009 his wife, Queen Helen. But I trust no one. 46 00:03:44,719 --> 00:03:46,199 Not even the Royal Guard. 47 00:03:47,009 --> 00:03:50,930 So you plan to ferret out the assassins by sending Fester instead of the king? 48 00:03:50,949 --> 00:03:52,030 Oh, no! 49 00:03:53,879 --> 00:03:54,840 Not me! 50 00:03:55,439 --> 00:03:56,300 I hate the Bowery. 51 00:03:57,479 --> 00:03:58,020 I understand. 52 00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:01,759 It was presumptuous of me to think you would risk your life for a stranger. 53 00:04:04,050 --> 00:04:05,210 Risk my life? 54 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:07,280 Why didn't you say so? 55 00:04:09,159 --> 00:04:10,740 Well, how do I look? 56 00:04:11,740 --> 00:04:13,169 Sickly, bloated, and pretentious. 57 00:04:13,569 --> 00:04:14,930 Exactly like a king. 58 00:04:15,810 --> 00:04:16,689 I sure hope so. 59 00:04:17,449 --> 00:04:19,449 I'd hate for Mr. Bontrop to go to all this 60 00:04:19,449 --> 00:04:21,259 trouble and have nobody try to rump me out. 61 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:23,860 I'm sure they'll be lining up to do you in. 62 00:04:30,910 --> 00:04:33,279 Welcome to our home. I'm Gomez Adams. 63 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:37,509 I don't think anyone saw us. You should be safe here, sire. 64 00:04:37,629 --> 00:04:40,610 Then get me out of this smothering cloak, you incompetent lackey, 65 00:04:40,610 --> 00:04:42,240 or it's off with your head! 66 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:51,370 I like him already, whoever he is. Is this the buffoon you expect to pass off as me? 67 00:05:06,100 --> 00:05:09,889 It was short notice, sire, but there is an extraordinary likeness. 68 00:05:10,550 --> 00:05:16,449 Yes, he is a good-looking fellow, but does he have what it takes to be the king? 69 00:05:17,879 --> 00:05:21,540 Dare you question me, you decaffeinated latte? 70 00:05:22,259 --> 00:05:23,180 Up with your cloak! 71 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:27,670 Desperate times call for desperate measures. 72 00:05:34,980 --> 00:05:40,769 This place is filthy! Thank you. Lurch works very hard to keep it that way. 73 00:05:41,529 --> 00:05:46,500 I'd rather face my enemies than spend one night in this candlelit hovel. 74 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:47,740 You're going to stay here? 75 00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:50,449 Yes, while Fester assumes his majesty's place, 76 00:05:50,449 --> 00:05:52,899 I thought King Lester might stay with you. 77 00:05:53,459 --> 00:05:54,480 That is, if you don't mind. 78 00:05:54,879 --> 00:05:58,879 Of course not. Our candlelit hovel is your candlelit hovel. 79 00:05:59,589 --> 00:06:00,970 Your Highness, with Mr. Adams' help, 80 00:06:00,970 --> 00:06:03,509 I'll be able to ferret out who is plotting against you. 81 00:06:05,209 --> 00:06:10,670 Very well. Then I shall endure this shanty for the time being. Please, 82 00:06:10,670 --> 00:06:11,920 make yourself comfortable. 83 00:06:13,959 --> 00:06:22,459 Are you sure that these people aren't the assassins? 84 00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:33,970 Remember, you don't have to say anything. Just nod. Got you. 85 00:06:40,310 --> 00:06:42,139 Kings really get good seats. 86 00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:46,019 This is the Prince Regent, Julius. 87 00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:51,670 Who's a babe on his arm? That is Queen Helen. Unfortunately, 88 00:06:51,670 --> 00:06:56,050 the peace negotiations have irreparably damaged her marriage to King Lester. 89 00:06:56,069 --> 00:06:58,819 They remain together, but it's all premises only. 90 00:06:59,949 --> 00:07:01,449 Technically, she's available. 91 00:07:02,269 --> 00:07:05,490 Your Highness, I trust you're having an enjoyable evening. 92 00:07:08,879 --> 00:07:12,939 Everything is in place as you requested, Your Highness. Excellent. 93 00:07:13,319 --> 00:07:15,939 Now is the perfect time to eliminate that royal oath. 94 00:07:16,420 --> 00:07:20,370 Once I am in Coletonia, well, to no world power. 95 00:07:22,060 --> 00:07:24,939 Don't worry, he won't make it past the opening curtain. 96 00:07:24,959 --> 00:07:28,040 There's a trap door right beneath his seat. 97 00:07:29,790 --> 00:07:34,149 All I have to do is press this button. 98 00:07:39,850 --> 00:07:44,430 Excuse me, could you tell me where the little king's room is, please? 99 00:07:44,750 --> 00:07:48,189 Right through that door, your majesty. Can't miss it. 100 00:07:50,949 --> 00:07:55,019 I don't know what went wrong. He should have just fallen right through. 101 00:08:12,899 --> 00:08:16,589 You look lovely this evening, your royal whiteness. 102 00:08:17,819 --> 00:08:23,060 Don't speak to me. I'm pretending I'm married to the champion of pirates. 103 00:08:23,139 --> 00:08:27,930 And Paul, His Majesty's royal drink must be tested for safety. What's that? 104 00:08:41,669 --> 00:08:46,679 Nice marrying you, King. 105 00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:49,309 Lucy, look back. 106 00:08:54,940 --> 00:08:55,460 All right. 107 00:08:55,940 --> 00:08:58,529 You are a rude, incorrigible beast of a man. 108 00:09:00,129 --> 00:09:02,889 Thank you. I was starting to think you didn't like me. 109 00:09:03,639 --> 00:09:04,740 Oh, yeah. 110 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:18,240 What is that infernal racket? 111 00:09:19,220 --> 00:09:22,059 Ah, King Lester! I'm sorry I haven't been more of a host, 112 00:09:22,059 --> 00:09:25,490 but I always try to take a little time out of each day to play with my trains. 113 00:09:25,789 --> 00:09:27,450 Would you care to join me? What? 114 00:09:27,889 --> 00:09:30,009 Play? With toys? 115 00:09:30,110 --> 00:09:32,370 Of course! Aren't kings allowed to have fun? 116 00:09:33,860 --> 00:09:38,000 I don't know. I've never done it before. I've been on the throne since I was six. 117 00:09:38,710 --> 00:09:40,129 Well, come on over and give it a try. 118 00:09:40,139 --> 00:09:45,009 Maybe just a little. After all, you are the king. 119 00:09:45,649 --> 00:09:52,830 Oh, just like this. Now give it some juice. 120 00:09:56,070 --> 00:09:57,830 You're right! This is fun! 121 00:09:57,850 --> 00:09:58,909 You think that's fun? 122 00:09:59,789 --> 00:10:01,230 Try this. What do you think? 123 00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:15,220 I like it! 124 00:10:33,799 --> 00:10:36,740 Amazing. Bouquet of weeds? 125 00:10:57,879 --> 00:11:07,460 Good night, sweet king. 126 00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:08,559 Good night. 127 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:39,720 Off with your heads! 128 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:58,940 I proved you. That was a joke. Oh, I'm having so much fun. 129 00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:00,700 I really must do this more often. 130 00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:05,039 Tell me, how often do you and your wife play like this? 131 00:12:06,450 --> 00:12:09,110 Every chance we get. 132 00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:12,990 My Gomez is quite the sportsman, aren't you, Monsieur? 133 00:12:13,029 --> 00:12:14,590 Yes, that's right. 134 00:12:15,980 --> 00:12:19,559 Ah, Gomez, you're the one who truly lives like a king. 135 00:12:20,539 --> 00:12:24,039 Queen Helen would never allow such an open display of affection. 136 00:12:24,460 --> 00:12:28,179 Your Majesty, a woman likes a man who breaks the rules once in a while. 137 00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:31,080 After all, isn't that what romance is all about? 138 00:12:32,299 --> 00:12:33,860 That and a good neighborhood hardware store. 139 00:12:50,269 --> 00:12:55,539 If it's over already, I was just getting dizzy from all the people spinning around. 140 00:12:55,559 --> 00:13:01,539 Oh, Lester, I don't know how or why you've changed, but I love you, Robin. 141 00:13:01,740 --> 00:13:05,509 Let's go back to the embassy and forge an alliance of our own. 142 00:13:05,590 --> 00:13:05,710 What? 143 00:13:07,379 --> 00:13:12,129 Your Highness, we really must get back to our preparations for the conference. 144 00:13:12,370 --> 00:13:16,720 Must we? Yes, sir, we really must. There is still much to do. 145 00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:22,490 Promise me once this conference is over, we'll have some time together. 146 00:13:23,269 --> 00:13:27,740 Just the two of us. I promise, my love. 147 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:33,200 We'll rendezvous in the morning before the conference. 148 00:13:37,210 --> 00:13:39,730 You didn't need to lay it on so thick with the queen. I can, 149 00:13:39,730 --> 00:13:41,879 but if I like to get the character. Come, Julius. 150 00:13:41,899 --> 00:13:45,080 We're returning to the embassy. 151 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:49,090 The king won't be joining us this evening. 152 00:13:49,179 --> 00:13:50,070 He won't be. 153 00:13:50,129 --> 00:13:50,909 Come along, boys. 154 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:56,889 You've got another chance. Oh, goody. 155 00:13:57,409 --> 00:14:02,759 Follow the king, and this time you better get rid of him, or I shall get rid of you. 156 00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:18,230 Wilhelm, let's return to the embassy. I want to play football with the Queen. 157 00:14:18,809 --> 00:14:20,029 I cannot allow that, Your Majesty. 158 00:14:20,830 --> 00:14:23,029 You're still in danger until you sign that treaty tomorrow. 159 00:14:23,850 --> 00:14:27,059 I'm afraid we're going to have to spend the night here. Please don't hit me. 160 00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:34,860 Be ridiculous. I'm very happy here. If I have to spend time away from my beloved, 161 00:14:34,860 --> 00:14:39,409 well, I certainly don't mind that it's here, in this wonderful house. 162 00:14:41,509 --> 00:14:43,389 Well, Wednesday, what shall we play next? 163 00:14:43,950 --> 00:14:46,370 How about Pin the Tail on the Happlesinger Brother? 164 00:14:47,100 --> 00:14:48,539 I'm not sure I know how to play that one. 165 00:14:48,919 --> 00:14:54,370 That's okay. Neither does Pugsy. 166 00:14:55,750 --> 00:14:57,909 I've never seen him in such good spirits. 167 00:14:58,370 --> 00:14:59,909 Yeah, I'm glad he's happy. 168 00:15:00,649 --> 00:15:02,820 I'm only sorry I couldn't help you find the assassins. 169 00:15:03,970 --> 00:15:06,190 I'm afraid I need to ask you to continue the charade. 170 00:15:06,210 --> 00:15:10,039 I fear who is ever trying to get rid of the king 171 00:15:10,039 --> 00:15:11,960 may become more desperate and dangerous. 172 00:15:12,740 --> 00:15:14,960 You're not just saying that to cheer me up, are you? 173 00:15:24,580 --> 00:15:27,899 You shall not escape me this time, King Lester. 174 00:15:27,919 --> 00:15:31,259 No one eludes the great assassin Felix. 175 00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:50,519 You can run, but you can't hide. LAUGHTER Maybe you can hide, but you can't escape. 176 00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:07,220 King thinks he can outsmart me? 177 00:16:07,919 --> 00:16:09,000 We'll just see about that. 178 00:16:16,179 --> 00:16:18,279 Charlie, who is that man with the dagger? 179 00:16:18,740 --> 00:16:19,340 I don't know. 180 00:16:20,110 --> 00:16:23,190 You don't suppose he's that assassin Wilhelm was so concerned about? 181 00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:24,750 Of course. 182 00:16:26,850 --> 00:16:27,450 Assassin? 183 00:16:32,179 --> 00:16:35,620 Hey, Kane. How's the sandwich? Delicious. 184 00:16:36,500 --> 00:16:41,870 Hey, Lester, hope you don't mind me saying, but that's quite the queen you got. 185 00:16:43,090 --> 00:16:44,190 Oh, yes, I know. 186 00:16:45,460 --> 00:16:49,500 I love her desperately. There's only some way that 187 00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:54,620 I could make up for all the years of being distant, 188 00:16:54,620 --> 00:16:56,940 cranky, unappreciative, preoccupied, selfish, sloppy, 189 00:16:56,940 --> 00:17:00,190 not in touch with her emotional needs. 190 00:17:02,509 --> 00:17:05,529 Now I've got you! Prepare to meet your doom! 191 00:17:05,569 --> 00:17:08,660 What's the meaning of this? I mean, you! 192 00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:14,900 Prepare to meet your doom! Or is that your doom? Pick me! 193 00:17:15,700 --> 00:17:16,799 Pick me! 194 00:17:17,559 --> 00:17:18,740 Now, can't you see I'm busy? 195 00:17:25,740 --> 00:17:29,369 We were hoping you'd stay a while. How dare you do this to a kid? 196 00:17:36,660 --> 00:17:40,910 I'll never tell. Oh, all right, then. Up with his head! Well, actually, 197 00:17:40,910 --> 00:17:43,990 Your Majesty, we have ways of making him talk. 198 00:18:01,500 --> 00:18:05,089 When being tortured, it's best to take a deep breath before screaming. 199 00:18:05,549 --> 00:18:07,730 That way your cries will echo much longer. 200 00:18:09,839 --> 00:18:10,420 King Lester. 201 00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:13,970 Professor, what's going on? Ah, good morning, Wilhelm. 202 00:18:14,490 --> 00:18:16,150 It turns out that Felix here... Ow! 203 00:18:19,490 --> 00:18:20,349 He's the assassin. 204 00:18:20,869 --> 00:18:23,880 Yeah, we're just trying to find out who put him up to it. Morning to you. 205 00:18:27,430 --> 00:18:29,559 Oh, listen, there you are. 206 00:18:29,839 --> 00:18:32,079 Your Majesty, you're still alive? 207 00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:36,160 Ah, Helen, Julius, you're just in time. 208 00:18:41,910 --> 00:18:45,470 My new friends here helping me discover who sent this assassin after me. 209 00:18:45,730 --> 00:18:48,230 But he's a tough nut to crack. 210 00:18:48,970 --> 00:18:51,250 That's all right. I enjoy a challenge. 211 00:18:51,950 --> 00:18:54,869 If I were you, I'd start to talk, because she's good. 212 00:18:59,130 --> 00:18:59,930 I'll talk. 213 00:19:00,829 --> 00:19:04,720 It was Julius. He did it. It was all his idea. 214 00:19:05,099 --> 00:19:07,559 Yes, I confess. It was me. 215 00:19:10,460 --> 00:19:14,079 Oh, well, my assassin fell. I shall not. 216 00:19:24,259 --> 00:19:29,160 Thank you, Fester. You saved my life. 217 00:19:30,349 --> 00:19:33,369 Ah, it was nothing, Your Majesty. 218 00:19:33,930 --> 00:19:36,680 I want to know why I had such a good time without the ballet last night. 219 00:19:39,930 --> 00:19:40,690 It wasn't me. 220 00:19:41,269 --> 00:19:42,329 It couldn't have been me. 221 00:19:43,029 --> 00:19:48,299 I hate the ballet. I wouldn't be caught dead there. 222 00:19:49,099 --> 00:19:52,539 Do you speak French, darling? 223 00:19:54,839 --> 00:19:55,500 Close enough. 224 00:19:58,150 --> 00:20:01,220 Oh, my God! 225 00:20:08,170 --> 00:20:17,170 Oh, Gomez, what a lovely night for a gondola crew. 226 00:20:17,710 --> 00:20:19,740 Too bad the king and queen had to leave so quickly. 227 00:20:20,599 --> 00:20:22,859 But I suppose Calatonia needed them. 228 00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:28,500 The constant threat of enemies at every border. The burden of balancing a budget. 229 00:20:29,140 --> 00:20:31,680 The stress of all that political backstabbing. 230 00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:33,579 Yes, I envy him.